Many of us wonder if it is really alright to ask God for a miracle. Does it seem selfish, like we are trying to control God? By studying many stories over the years I believe it is good to ask for God's interaction in our lives. As long as we realize the results are up to God and God's will, then prayers for God's help and presence seem to make us aware of the miraculous moments around us. Stories like this one may give us a little glimpse into how God truly cares for each of us.
A young woman shared with me how she had experienced a tragic loss as a teenager. One of her good friends was killed suddenly in an accident. One of the special memories that she had with her friend who had died, was how they often used to talk about shooting stars. He was really fascinated by shooting stars and always teased her because she had never seen one.
Many years later this young woman was grieving another loss when a close family member had died. One night she was feeling the deep pain that comes with grief. Sometimes people describe this heartache as almost unbearable. As the young girl was grieving her recent loss, she began thinking back to her friend from high school and missing him also. In the midst of this deep pain the young girl cried out to God and asked for a sign that would help her.
As the girl stepped out of her car she looked up into the night sky. In that moment she experienced something amazing, her first shooting star. The miracle of this experience brought her the peace and affirmation that everything was okay. By waiting all of those years to see this, and then to have just been thinking of her loved ones, she was able to have this beautiful moment.
What does this teach us? Obviously we can't make a shooting star appear as we know the overwhelming number of years that it takes for this event to happen before us. I believe stories like this show that as we try to live a loving caring life, a life that is inclusive of God, that God is part of us in a way that allows the miracle to take place. Could it be that a part of God was working within the young woman to have her reach out a prayer of perfect timing? To allow her to have this beautiful moment of healing love? However it works, I do believe that our faith and belief is often a part of the miracles itself. It helps us to have "the eyes to see."
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The Hospice Nurse and the Angel
Below is the beautiful story that a Hospice nurse told me. It involves her own life during a painful time and also a sharing opportunity she had with one of her patient families. End of life stories often give us a glimplse of the presence of God. They may allow us to feel comfort and love. A friend of mine who is a hospice nurse told me this precious story. We will call her Kay and listen the to experience that touched her life.
About 20 years ago, there was a Hospice nurse who had to have open heart surgery. After Kay's surgery they sent her home without much pain medicine and she ended up in a terrible pain crisis. At this time she was also concerned about her children who were gathered around her, afraid she was going to die. In the middle of the night Kay was feeling that she could not handle the extreme pain and began praying very intensely that God help her with this overwhelming situation.
In the midst of this traumatic time Kay felt a cool breeze come through the room. Then she felt a softness brush across her face. Even though she had never had an experience like this before, she felt there was an angel that had been present with her in the room. At this point she went into a deep sleep for several hours which relieved her from the pain. When she woke up, the power of the experience made her feel that she was able to cope with the pain that she had.
Twenty years later the nurse was called to make a home visit to a family where the patient had just died. She entered the room which was kept very warm by the family. She found the family gathered around the bed of their father who had just died. They were very emotional and began to tell the nurse the following story. They had been praying very strongly that their father be taken by an angel. They said "we think this may have actually happened because for just about 5 seconds, right before he died, we felt a cool breeze come through the room and then a soft presence. Do you think this could have been an angel?" The nurse was very moved as this reminded her of the profound experience she had 20 years earlier. "yes," she said, "you are right. I believe this was the presence of an angel and let me tell you what I experienced, many years ago."
By these two life experiences coming together, the nurse was able to affirm and validate for the family what they had witnessed. As the nurse was telling me these stories, she had tears again from the beauty of God's loving presence. I hope this story may be used to inspire you also. As we share the stories of God in our lives, we often encourage others to explore the possibility of God in their own lives.
About 20 years ago, there was a Hospice nurse who had to have open heart surgery. After Kay's surgery they sent her home without much pain medicine and she ended up in a terrible pain crisis. At this time she was also concerned about her children who were gathered around her, afraid she was going to die. In the middle of the night Kay was feeling that she could not handle the extreme pain and began praying very intensely that God help her with this overwhelming situation.
In the midst of this traumatic time Kay felt a cool breeze come through the room. Then she felt a softness brush across her face. Even though she had never had an experience like this before, she felt there was an angel that had been present with her in the room. At this point she went into a deep sleep for several hours which relieved her from the pain. When she woke up, the power of the experience made her feel that she was able to cope with the pain that she had.
Twenty years later the nurse was called to make a home visit to a family where the patient had just died. She entered the room which was kept very warm by the family. She found the family gathered around the bed of their father who had just died. They were very emotional and began to tell the nurse the following story. They had been praying very strongly that their father be taken by an angel. They said "we think this may have actually happened because for just about 5 seconds, right before he died, we felt a cool breeze come through the room and then a soft presence. Do you think this could have been an angel?" The nurse was very moved as this reminded her of the profound experience she had 20 years earlier. "yes," she said, "you are right. I believe this was the presence of an angel and let me tell you what I experienced, many years ago."
By these two life experiences coming together, the nurse was able to affirm and validate for the family what they had witnessed. As the nurse was telling me these stories, she had tears again from the beauty of God's loving presence. I hope this story may be used to inspire you also. As we share the stories of God in our lives, we often encourage others to explore the possibility of God in their own lives.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
ROSES FROM HEAVEN
Between working with Hospice families and also those from church, I often have the chance to hear beautiful stories that connect us to heaven. As we look at these we can get glimpses as to how we are connected to our loved ones there.
This story is from one of my dear friends. A story that lets us know we are not alone. My friend "Carol" told this story that took many years to become a miracle through nature. The story begins with a very sad situation that took place with her family. When her children were teenagers they happened to have a great friend named Ashley. Ashley was a precious girl who had become very close to all of the family. Many of us often have those special kids that grow up as part of our home and become like a niece or nephew, this is what Ashley was to Carol's family.
By the time Carol was telling me about Ashley, it had been many years, but tragically, when her children were in high school, Ashley was killed in a car accident. Even though it had been a long time you could still hear the sadness in her voice, obviously something like this has a life long affect on a family. The reason Carol was thinking about this loss was that she was dealing with another painful time in her life.
I knew that Carol had been struggling with her mothers terminal illness. They had been very close and it had been a very hard year as Carol had been traveling to the nearby town to be with her mother in the hospital. Carol's mother had been clear that she did not want life sustaining support. Even knowing this, when the doctor came and told Carol it was time to remove the machines, it was still extremely hard for Carol to honor her mothers wishes. I had been thinking about Carol and this sad time when she pulled me aside and told me the following story.
Carol told me about the loss of Ashley and then said "I want to tell you something that happened the day my mother died." Carol said that over ten years ago when Ashley had died, Ashley's mother had given Carol a rose bush. She said she wanted Carol to have something to remember Ashley with. Carol said "Nancy, over all those years, the rose bush never bloomed." In some ways it had seemed a little strange to have a rose bush that never bloomed, but because of the special significance the bush had, she kept taking care of it. I myself, am terrible with plants and I thought of how it must feel to see the bush all of those years without any blooms. I am afraid I might have given up on the plant, but she kept taking care of it. Carol went on to say, "I can't tell you how hard it was to take my mother off of life support last week. Even though I knew it was what she wanted, it was one of the hardest things I have had to do." I was not surprised to hear this as I have been told this by many people. Often it takes many months to come to peace with this as they are in the midst of their grief.
Carol went on to say, "I want to tell you what happened when I drove back from the hospital after mom passed away. I pulled up in the driveway and you will never guess what I saw. The rose bush from Ashley had three beautiful yellow roses on it!. After all of those years, it was finally blooming!" I was amazed to hear about the blooms that were on the bush after over ten years of being dormant! My speech became quiet and slow as I was aware of the special story Carol was telling me. I softly asked Carol, "what thought came to you as you saw these miraculous blooms?" Carol went on to say, "I knew that everything was okay. I felt that the three roses represented my three children and I knew that mom and Ashley were okay"
I love to hear the miracle stories that often come to comfort those in grief. Whenever someone tells me one of these sacred stories after a loved ones death I always ask them what this meant to them. Often they do feel a message that everything is alright and the experience usually brings a great sense of peace,
How does this work, this miraculous timing that seems to bring a message of care and hope? Maybe we just need to be willing to hope and believe. When we think something is not working, that things just aren't happening soon enough, we may want to remember "Ashley's Roses," Sometimes we can only see the miracle if we go through the quiet time first. There might just be hope waiting miraculously, with great purpose, in a bush with no blooms.
This story is from one of my dear friends. A story that lets us know we are not alone. My friend "Carol" told this story that took many years to become a miracle through nature. The story begins with a very sad situation that took place with her family. When her children were teenagers they happened to have a great friend named Ashley. Ashley was a precious girl who had become very close to all of the family. Many of us often have those special kids that grow up as part of our home and become like a niece or nephew, this is what Ashley was to Carol's family.
By the time Carol was telling me about Ashley, it had been many years, but tragically, when her children were in high school, Ashley was killed in a car accident. Even though it had been a long time you could still hear the sadness in her voice, obviously something like this has a life long affect on a family. The reason Carol was thinking about this loss was that she was dealing with another painful time in her life.
I knew that Carol had been struggling with her mothers terminal illness. They had been very close and it had been a very hard year as Carol had been traveling to the nearby town to be with her mother in the hospital. Carol's mother had been clear that she did not want life sustaining support. Even knowing this, when the doctor came and told Carol it was time to remove the machines, it was still extremely hard for Carol to honor her mothers wishes. I had been thinking about Carol and this sad time when she pulled me aside and told me the following story.
Carol told me about the loss of Ashley and then said "I want to tell you something that happened the day my mother died." Carol said that over ten years ago when Ashley had died, Ashley's mother had given Carol a rose bush. She said she wanted Carol to have something to remember Ashley with. Carol said "Nancy, over all those years, the rose bush never bloomed." In some ways it had seemed a little strange to have a rose bush that never bloomed, but because of the special significance the bush had, she kept taking care of it. I myself, am terrible with plants and I thought of how it must feel to see the bush all of those years without any blooms. I am afraid I might have given up on the plant, but she kept taking care of it. Carol went on to say, "I can't tell you how hard it was to take my mother off of life support last week. Even though I knew it was what she wanted, it was one of the hardest things I have had to do." I was not surprised to hear this as I have been told this by many people. Often it takes many months to come to peace with this as they are in the midst of their grief.
Carol went on to say, "I want to tell you what happened when I drove back from the hospital after mom passed away. I pulled up in the driveway and you will never guess what I saw. The rose bush from Ashley had three beautiful yellow roses on it!. After all of those years, it was finally blooming!" I was amazed to hear about the blooms that were on the bush after over ten years of being dormant! My speech became quiet and slow as I was aware of the special story Carol was telling me. I softly asked Carol, "what thought came to you as you saw these miraculous blooms?" Carol went on to say, "I knew that everything was okay. I felt that the three roses represented my three children and I knew that mom and Ashley were okay"
I love to hear the miracle stories that often come to comfort those in grief. Whenever someone tells me one of these sacred stories after a loved ones death I always ask them what this meant to them. Often they do feel a message that everything is alright and the experience usually brings a great sense of peace,
How does this work, this miraculous timing that seems to bring a message of care and hope? Maybe we just need to be willing to hope and believe. When we think something is not working, that things just aren't happening soon enough, we may want to remember "Ashley's Roses," Sometimes we can only see the miracle if we go through the quiet time first. There might just be hope waiting miraculously, with great purpose, in a bush with no blooms.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
WHERE IS HOME?
Where is Home?
I believe one of the hardest aspects of going into ministry was to give up "home." I remember a discussion during 9th grade Biology class with my girlfriends about where we would live when we grew up. (I am afraid I have never been one for math or science so I was very rarely discussing the subject at hand.) We had a kind teacher and I remember him smiling as he heard our conversation. I believe it was when he heard me emphatically declare that I would never live in a town larger than my hometown of Oak Ridge Tennessee, which had a population around 30,000. I didn't want to live in a large city like the neighboring city of Knoxville. I believe it was the last comment that had him smiling.
Yes, I can smile myself now at my limited views while growing up. I just knew that I would do like my parents and get married right after college to the young man I would meet there. Next I would find this other perfect town, build a home as my parents did, and never move again. You know what they say, never say never. As a matter of fact I would change that to "never, ever, ever, ever... say never!" I have learned it is a sure sign you are about to get the shock of your life! In my own life I have begun to think of this as a backwards prayer that says "Please God, you know how stupid I am. Just do the opposite of whatever the stupid statement was that I just proclaimed!"
Needless to say I have moved more that I ever imagined. After college I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, without the husband I was supposed to have found. I am sure young women today can't believe it but I had never even thought about the possibility of being on my own. On top of that, Atlanta , is just a tiny bit bigger that Oak Ridge or Knoxville put together. I then moved to Wake Forest, North Carolina to go to seminary where I lived in four different rental places. After getting married to another minister I lived in four different cities across North Carolina before moving to West Lafayette, Indiana, the home of Purdue University and cornfields.
Moving can be hard and the first few times I did this it actually caused a year of depression, because I didn't have an established social group. There was a deep longing to be closer to family, and the fact that I have great in-laws and couldn't be with them either, was just as hard. There was a time when the scripture below got me through as I felt like leaving home was something I was doing for the sake of my spiritual growth.
Matthew 8:20
Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man (referring to himself) has no place to lay his head."
Sometimes hearing the pain of someone else put into words, affirmation of the pain you feel, is helpful. It meant a lot to hear someone else was hurting because they had no permanent home. I am not trying to compare myself to Jesus, and I guess God finally decided I had learned enough from this moving around, because for the last fifteen years we have been happily settled in one place. (In defense of my 9th grade self, I did land happily in a town that reminds me of the one I grew up in, I just hadn't envisioned the stops in-between.)
Through these moves over the years, I came up with a statement that actually brought me peace. For me, "Everywhere is home, and nowhere is home." This statement may sound sad to some, but those of us who have come to learn in this way, know there is finally peace. Home is where I am connecting to people. Home is where I am at that moment.
I still struggle with being separated from our extended family, and I can't describe what it was to leave my homeland and home culture. My mothers family lived in the east Tennessee area since before the revolutionary war. You can't put words on that kind of history. The Tennessee/Carolina mountains taught me to feel God's presence through their majesty. It was only after many years that I learned to see beauty in both the mountains and the "flatlands."
Everywhere is home, and nowhere is home. No place, or even my wonderful house with many great memories, is really home. "Home" is that sense when I am focused on God and feel God's peace, love, and acceptance. In that moment, I am home. I guess it get's back to what I learn working with Hospice families. We don't really have to be scared of physical death. A part of us, deep inside, knows this place where we will go next. We will be going, in the truest sense of the word... home.
I believe one of the hardest aspects of going into ministry was to give up "home." I remember a discussion during 9th grade Biology class with my girlfriends about where we would live when we grew up. (I am afraid I have never been one for math or science so I was very rarely discussing the subject at hand.) We had a kind teacher and I remember him smiling as he heard our conversation. I believe it was when he heard me emphatically declare that I would never live in a town larger than my hometown of Oak Ridge Tennessee, which had a population around 30,000. I didn't want to live in a large city like the neighboring city of Knoxville. I believe it was the last comment that had him smiling.
Yes, I can smile myself now at my limited views while growing up. I just knew that I would do like my parents and get married right after college to the young man I would meet there. Next I would find this other perfect town, build a home as my parents did, and never move again. You know what they say, never say never. As a matter of fact I would change that to "never, ever, ever, ever... say never!" I have learned it is a sure sign you are about to get the shock of your life! In my own life I have begun to think of this as a backwards prayer that says "Please God, you know how stupid I am. Just do the opposite of whatever the stupid statement was that I just proclaimed!"
Needless to say I have moved more that I ever imagined. After college I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, without the husband I was supposed to have found. I am sure young women today can't believe it but I had never even thought about the possibility of being on my own. On top of that, Atlanta , is just a tiny bit bigger that Oak Ridge or Knoxville put together. I then moved to Wake Forest, North Carolina to go to seminary where I lived in four different rental places. After getting married to another minister I lived in four different cities across North Carolina before moving to West Lafayette, Indiana, the home of Purdue University and cornfields.
Moving can be hard and the first few times I did this it actually caused a year of depression, because I didn't have an established social group. There was a deep longing to be closer to family, and the fact that I have great in-laws and couldn't be with them either, was just as hard. There was a time when the scripture below got me through as I felt like leaving home was something I was doing for the sake of my spiritual growth.
Matthew 8:20
Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man (referring to himself) has no place to lay his head."
Sometimes hearing the pain of someone else put into words, affirmation of the pain you feel, is helpful. It meant a lot to hear someone else was hurting because they had no permanent home. I am not trying to compare myself to Jesus, and I guess God finally decided I had learned enough from this moving around, because for the last fifteen years we have been happily settled in one place. (In defense of my 9th grade self, I did land happily in a town that reminds me of the one I grew up in, I just hadn't envisioned the stops in-between.)
Through these moves over the years, I came up with a statement that actually brought me peace. For me, "Everywhere is home, and nowhere is home." This statement may sound sad to some, but those of us who have come to learn in this way, know there is finally peace. Home is where I am connecting to people. Home is where I am at that moment.
I still struggle with being separated from our extended family, and I can't describe what it was to leave my homeland and home culture. My mothers family lived in the east Tennessee area since before the revolutionary war. You can't put words on that kind of history. The Tennessee/Carolina mountains taught me to feel God's presence through their majesty. It was only after many years that I learned to see beauty in both the mountains and the "flatlands."
Everywhere is home, and nowhere is home. No place, or even my wonderful house with many great memories, is really home. "Home" is that sense when I am focused on God and feel God's peace, love, and acceptance. In that moment, I am home. I guess it get's back to what I learn working with Hospice families. We don't really have to be scared of physical death. A part of us, deep inside, knows this place where we will go next. We will be going, in the truest sense of the word... home.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
You Can't take it with you...or can you?
After working with Hospice families, I have a strong belief that by focusing more on Heaven, we may put our earthly life in better balance. It is commonly felt by Hospice workers that people at end of life often have a longing for "Home." What can this mean to those of us who may have many years left to live? Can we learn something from those who are going before us?
When I first heard of this talk of Home, or Heaven, I thought this was something elderly people knew from church language. Many of us have heard the old hymns that mention phrases such as "angels coming for to carry me home" I was surprised to discover that people who don't have any faith connections,also mention this aspect of "going home." Some people even tell you which day they will be "going home," and often they then die on the day that they mentioned.
Many years ago, after college, I began looking at Biblical scripture as a way to apply to my life in a more direct way. I was struggling with whether I would stay in the field of Interior Design, or go to seminary. I happened to find the following scripture:
Don't store up treasure on earth where moth and rust can destroy, or where thieves break in and steal. Instead lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:19-21
As a agonized over the decision to leave a great job in Atlanta, and move to a new city in North Carolina with no friends or job, I wondered if I was crazy to consider this. It surely made no sense. To say I was scared was an understatement. I really had no idea what I would learn at seminary, or exactly what I would do after that, but I thought about the scripture above.
About this same time I returned from a vacation to find that one of the young women in our Bible Study had died in a tragic car accident. She had been stuck in traffic on the interstate when some machinery had come loose from the truck in front of her and caused her death. There is of course no way to prepare for something this quick and unexpected. She was such a peaceful and beautiful young woman, and it caused us all to look at our own lives and how it could have happened to us.
For me I put the loss of a friend into my own personal decision and looked at the meaning behind the scripture. The words seemed to be saying that there were some aspects of this life that did go with us to heaven. To leave a successful job which pleased my parents, and was such a great opportunity, seemed wrong, but I decided to try life in a different way. Even though I had no idea what the seminary experience would do for me, I felt if I were to die as a young person, I wanted whatever knowledge was there. If I were to have my life end sooner than we tend to expect, I wanted the growth from seminary to go with me to heaven. I felt I would grow in ways at seminary, that would create spiritual or eternal treasures.
Going to seminary did bring opportunities of fulfillment and "riches" that were beyond what I had hoped. My life has gone in directions I would never have imagined, and by asking God or Spirit to direct me for each step, life has been more than I could have dreamed. I have chosen the spiritual path.
Not everyone who chooses to look for God's direction ends up going to seminary to become a minister. A spiritual path could be someone deciding to leave seminary and go to study Interior Design. God may take them in an opposite way from where I was to go. I don't know what anyone elses path is to be, I only know that after 25 years of asking God which way to go, I have found riches beyond imagination. Before if I thought of someone who was rich I had limited images of money, houses, or certain cars. Now I know that the these don't even compare to what God has in mind. I guess I now believe that "You can take it with you." You just have to think about which treasures will "follow us home."
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